Other people’s behaviours: what’s stopping you?

For a recent article “Lockdown: Noisy neighbours are ruining my life” the BBC contacted 103 local councils, many of which reported an increase in noise complaints since lockdown. 

Feeling trapped with the actions of neighbours/family/work colleagues can be very stressful, often making you feel generally agitated and therefore short-tempered with all those around you. There is a straightforward solution.

How can you get lasting improvement?

The BBC suggests you talk to your neighbour or file a complaint. They are missing a crucial option: Mediation, which has an 80%+ success rate in resolving these conflicts. 

Option 1: talking to your neighbour is a good start but not if it’s done when you are annoyed already or if your neighbour feels like they are being criticised. 

Option 2: complaints – these rely on intervention by councils who are already over-stretched so it can take some time. 

Option 3: mediation – neutral experts speak with you and your neighbour privately (everything you say is kept confidential by the mediators, not passed to your neighbour). Then they give you the opportunity to be guided through a proven process in a meeting with your neighbour.

This meeting has clear boundaries for language/behaviour and takes you both through the stages needed to get lasting results: 

  • a chance for each of you to be heard without interruption
  • hearing calmly from each other gives you a better understanding of where they might be able to alter behaviour 
  • the mediators guide you through the process to build an agreement that is customised to you and your neighbour 
  • you leave with a written confirmation of the agreement points so you are both totally clear about what is agreed. 
How will you feel when it works?

Mediation is not just talking – it’s a tried and tested process which gets excellent results. We do this every day, as professional mediators, for families, neighbours and  workplaces – there is no more rewarding feeling in this job than seeing our clients, who have sometimes been in conflict for years, shake hands or smile at each other. The sense of relief for a client when they are no longer in daily dispute with their neighbour is immense and that impacts positively on the other people around them too. 

So if you, or someone you care about, is struggling with the behaviours of a neighbour, family member or work colleague, consider Option 3. Professional mediators are registered with the Civil Mediation Council or College of Mediators. 

Mediation is voluntary, neutral and confidential. You have nothing to lose – what’s stopping you?

To know more please get in touch.

Image of binoculars looking out to seaImage of three female colleagues in a meeting room